to forever and forever's end

Leave the Lady Alone

2010-11-01T21:26:00.003+08:00

HEALING

Leaving someone alone is not an easy task.

Leaving someone alone puts me in fear.

That I might be forgotten in her time to heal.

That I might lose her forever.

It's a risk.

Tsk, tsk.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan... -EDSA by S.D.

Try Harder, Idiots

2010-03-18T19:58:00.004+08:00

CHARACTER ASSASINATION

Throughout my career, I have had my ups and downs. I started from somewhere, and I wasn't the best at the beginning. But I had tough lessons, and I learned from experience. From it all, I have managed to establish myself now as a man with a reputation for being the hardest working individual and a person that epitomizes professionalism.

I am not the best, but I work everyday smart and hard as I can, with that goal in mind. I deliver. I give results. I walk the walk, and prefer to not even talk at times. My work ethic and the results, speak for themselves.

I have always managed to create strong and wonderful ties with people I work with. Because I am easy to work with. I make things happen. Proof of this, ask anyone, and they would have no qualms of hiring me, or working with me. Because they know me, and they know my capabilities. And they know how I build relationships. And they know how wonderful it is to work with me.

To fabricate stories about me being unprofessional, and performing at a level below expectations, is simply a futile attempt to tarnish what I have worked so hard for; a good reputation.

Anywhere I go, I have always conducted myself in the proper manner. I was brought up by my parents well, and I carry their names wherever I go and whoever I am with. To say that I lack professionalism, courtesy, and values, is to say that I am a disgrace to them. I refuse to accept that.

I have not always seen eye to eye with everybody, but I have always been straightforward and truthful with my dealings, those who choose to make it personal and try destroy my image, find that it's a feat close to impossible. This is because, I have always and will always work my ass off to make sure the finger cannot be pointed back at me for whatever reason.

To say that I have not the talent for a position I hold, is simply ridiculous. I have results to show, and numbers to back my credentials. Not to mention an entire group of people who would back me up when I say that I have raised the bar so high that it would simply be too hard to top it.

To say that I am a person that people find difficult to do business with is a lie. Everyone I have worked with and understands the nature of whatever undertaking it is that we are facing, knows I am the easiest person, and quite frankly, maybe the best person for it. Simply because I pour my heart and soul to any task. Not one person,who have worked with me closely will ever say that I am a difficult person to work with or work for.

To malicously twist the truth and to fabricate stories to make me look inadequate and inefficient to hide their own shortcomings and misgivings, are cowardly acts of self-preservation.

Pick another target. Not me. Because I will not let you manslaughter my reputation and integrity. Not that you can anyway.

You can try. But seriously, try harder.

I live and breathe work ethic, values, and professionalism.

Try harder.

I am Neo. Full name Edison Marcelo Samson.

I have learned from my mistakes well.

And I have worked my ass off for the reputation and image I have.

and this is not an act, by the way.

This is me. I live and breathe work ethic, values, and professionalism.

Fabricating baseless accusations, blatantly lying, and malicously accusing me of things, simply won't hold any ground when everybody else sees the truth.

That I live and breathe work ethic, values, and professionalism.

So seriously, try harder.

Mark my words, you won't get away with this.

___________________________________________________________________
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

too late, mate....

2010-03-04T11:55:00.003+08:00

STAGE 4

I am not invincible.

I am not invulnerable.

Sharp or stabbing pain? "oh it's nothing...."

Heartbeat racing? "probably just a heart burn or something."

Pain in my tummy? "hyperacidity.."

Half of your body feels numb? "i'm just tired, that's all."

Everything I feel off or wrong, I dismiss as "nothing."

Now, I find out, life may very well dismiss me...

What if you find out, that you are not invincible?

What if you find out, your not invulnerable?

What if you find out, you are not superman.

That you can get sick, probably is sick, and can die?...

Join me, as we are about to find out...

____________________________________________________________________
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Here It Comes

2010-02-15T16:19:00.005+08:00

Aweful. Awesome.

There comes a time in one's life that questions are plenty

There comes a time like doubts roam freely

It's like a headless chicken thoughlessly running

Like a cockroach without a head, aimlessly surviving

There comes a time in one's life when you grow weary

There comes a time when one feels tired and dreary

like a drama actor tired of all the drama

like a soldier tired of the war trauma

There are times of defeat for battles fought

There are times of mistakes, the wrongs, and the missed,

There are times that it's your fault and there are times that it's not

Ther are times you just can't help but feel pissed.

such a time comes

a time of hoplessness

a time of uncertainty

a time of helplessness

and of mediocre mockery

Some call it their trying times

Some call it their life's struggles

An experts' jargon states it as a life crisis

I call it everyday.

every damn single day.

take a pause, a long deep breath...

suck it all in.

walk it off.

count 1 to 10.

Deal with it.

____________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

The Collective of One

2009-12-08T00:02:00.004+08:00

Color: Light-black

I have asked myself repeatedly,
A hundredth, a thousandth, a millionth time,
Where am I taking me?
To the far unreachable corners of my soul,
Where my ideals cannot and do not follow...

I have asked myself more than once,
A millionth, a thousandth, a hundredth instance,
Why am I going there?
To shed light and leave a lamp where I find my id most dark?
Or to indulge in unsanctioned pleasures and be stained by them forever?

When I felt I needed to be different,
It is when I failed and conformed….
When I thought of goodness, and principles, faith and ideals
It is when I crumbled and twisted my b-systems….

I continue to explore uncharted parts of me
In my desire to understand (or maybe It’s my excuse)….
I am, and will remain a man who’s free
Then again Liberty may be part of this big ruse.

Oh my, oh my, oh my….
May I be remembered best,
Not for my affairs with the black depths of my spirit
But for the struggles I put up--to remain holding hands with Light,
Though the rest of me trapped, enchained by gloom

Oh my, oh my, oh my,
May I leave behind a lasting memory,
One not of my bruised, wounded, and sin-laden soul
Not of the letters of the alphabet that make up my name,
But by one statement, I proudly exclaim

I AM….

the never-say-die, I-believe-I-can-fly,
Never-stopped-dreaming, always-believing,
Never-too-late-to-keep-the-faith, the-never-quitting,
Always-kicking, will-not-stop, from-here-to-there,
To-end-and-back-to-start, the-biggest-heart,
who’s…. always….. done…. his part!

The writer in me, says this sucks.
The kid in me says it’s a masterpiece.

The promdi in me says this is too much,
The ego in me says it’s but right and just.

The me in me, says this is the end.
But HE, who’s in me, says we’ve barely begun.

Softly, as I continued to swim in my self-cast murk,
There be a whisper, “Be my pen.”

The world is one big S.O.P

Sheet of paper.

===================================================================
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Don't Put the Dot Just Yet

2009-07-17T19:01:00.003+08:00

All things said and done....

What now? The philanderings of uncertainties

and the flirtations with destiny...

A dear price was sought as payment

And guilty was the sentiment...

What now? After the fantastic and amazing travails

and pleasure and pain bound roller coaster trails,

the track derailed for what might be permanent.

and there is nothing left but to just lament....

What now? A part of my life that is distinct

May now be considered as gone and extinct

And what I risked and what I thought would be

For such a loss did not prepare me....

Should I continue to hope against hope

Even when doors are shut tight and roped?

Should I continue to dream of intertwined paths?

When dead ends are now created by the wraths....

What is unseen remains just that...

unseen...

What is the future remains just that...

the future...

And what is my hope remains just that...

hope.

The everlasting kind.

====================================================================
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Tengo Que Ir

2009-03-30T14:58:00.003+08:00

Will the Real Me, Please Stand Up....
(stay standing, stay still, hold your ground...)

A thousand miles from the Philippines...

A thousand miles from home.

A thousand miles from family.

A thousand miles from those you love...

A thousand miles and alone.

The solitude makes one think, makes one realize, makes one wonder.

The choices made and to be made,

The mistakes, as well as the right ones.

I have been both selfish and selfless. But I guess my greatest fault, is that when it counted most, I was not able to tell one from the other. I have hurt people, be it unintentional. I have caused pain, thinking it is well worth the joys. The worth of something is not for me to say, it was never my place to say.

Now, I only wish nothing but happiness for those that I have hurt. For them to get what they deserve. At the back of my mind, I still wish that I will be a big part and a big chunk of their lives. But that comes only second to my prayers of happiness for them.

I want to make a difference now. In my life, in their lives, and in others. I want to make a difference, in a big way.....

That is why, I will start with the small things.

I still don´t know if I am making the right choice, or if I will make the right decisions in the future. All I know is that now, when it counts the most, I am trying.

bugtong-dugtungan:

Hold on then let go.
Let go then hold on.
Then let go, then hold on.
and so on, and so on, and so on...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Please Pray for my Father

2009-01-27T00:41:00.002+08:00

Usually, when somebody tells you that your heart is getting bigger and bigger everyday, it should mean something good. Overwhelming love probably?

If meant figuratively, then yes, it can't be anything but good.

But literally and physically, that can't be something to be happy about.

Recently my dad just found out that his heart ailment, which he's had and endured for the longest time, has escalated into something else. He's been diagnosed with an enlarged heart, and it's getting bigger.

All I am really asking is for you to include him in his prayers. Thanks.

Pa, get well.

====================================================================

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Pare, Tol, Repapips, Kosa, Kaibigan

2008-09-24T09:54:00.004+08:00

Sa Tagay

Pasensya na.

May mga pagkakataon palang ako ay nawawala sa lugar.
Dahil sa iyo, napagtanto ko ito.

Pasensya na.

Madalas yata, di sinasadyang naitataas ko ang sarili ko, sa mga lugar na di ko naman tunay na abot. Dahil sa iyo, nalaman ko ito.

Pasensya na.

Di lang miminsan pala, na ako ay tila nagpaimbabaw. Samantalang ikunukubli ko lamang talaga ang aking kinalulugmukang pagkababa-baba. Dahil sayo, napuna ko na ito.

Pasensya na.

Sa pagnanais na makipagsabayan, dinaraya ko ang karera para lamang mauna, gayong wala namang talagang paligsahan. Dahil sayo, naunawaan ko ito.

Pasensya na.

Pantay pantay tayo. Walang mataas at mababa, una at huli. Pare-pareho. Magkakaibigan, magkakabalikatan, magkakatulungan.

Di dapat magmamataas, di dapat magpaka-magaling. Ang tunay na pagpapakumbaba, ay lubos kong naunawaan sa tulong mo. Sana matutunan kong maisapuso ito.

Salamat sa paalala. Salamat sa pasensya.

Wag ka sana magsawa....Tunay kong kaibigan.

Baka ako'y makalimot,

pakibatukan na lamang ako,

yung ubod ng lakas,

ng aking maalala. :-)

====================================================================
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Glimmer

2008-09-24T09:41:00.006+08:00

A Hole in the Wall

It's funny how things work out

It's weird how life turns about

A moment of tears

flips to memoirs of laughter

And how happiness today

can be loneliness tomorrow

But such are the least of my concerns

Mine, is just to keep that which burns,

The fire of desire,

The passion of inspiration,

To keep so bright, to share and tell about my fight,

To proclaim about the light.

It's not over yet,

The struggles and hurdles,

They're going to be around for quite some time,

Life continues to pound me to the ground,

bring me to my knees,

and keep me there.....

if I let it.

But I won't.

Not now, but soon, I will be able to get back up.

God gave me wings to take flight

He gave me the strength and might

So that I could fight,

and most of all He gave me sight....

To find the light,

To stay there,

Share it,

and keep it burning bright.

Yes, I am still down and beaten.

But not forever.

If only I could find it again.

If only I could find it again.

If only I could find it again.

If only I could find it in me.

====================================================================
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

IN PACHE

2008-08-20T18:52:00.003+08:00

RESTLESSNESS AWARE

The end draws near.
I feel it in my bones.

And the sad truth about it.....
as unafraid and ready as I was before...

Is ten times fold of how scared I am now.
I don't want to go.

Not just yet anyway....

But I feel it creeping inside.

I hear it calling my name.

It is almost time.....

Mockingly it chants.....

"READY OR NOT.....

HERE I COME."

==================================================================
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Wondering?

2008-04-18T00:51:00.002+08:00

No. I am not out having fun.

No. I am not getting any richer.

Yes. I am now bald.

Yes. I am struggling.

No. I am not gay.

No. I do not have anything, or anyone new.

No. I am not having the time of my life.

I am trying my best to become a better person. Nobody said it would be easy. I am trying my best to improve the quality of life I have. I am trying my best to be able to look in the mirror and like what I'd see.

====================================================
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Sa Sulok Lamang

2008-02-08T22:36:00.000+08:00

Ang hirap mag-isa.
Ang hirap hirap talaga.
Pakunswelo mo na lang.
Kahit papaano, wala kang nadadamay na iba.
Ikaw lang.

Mag-isa.

Walang ibang mahihirapan.
Walang ibang malulumbay.
Walang ibang tatangis.

Ikaw at Ikaw lamang.

Kaya dapat masaya.
Dahil walang nadadamay na iba.

Ikaw lang.

Mag-isa.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

listen. listen. please. listen.

2008-01-30T00:55:00.000+08:00

DEAD LONG AGO

said that I loved you
that wasn't a lie
But each time I said these words
the harder I'd try

If only a compromise
just to save this thing's soul
But if a word was a weapon
I'd have been dead long ago

And I can't go on
living this way
No I can't go on
living

I'm sick of complaining
but I can't get things right
The punches keep coming
and I'm losing the fight

With all these aggression
another slap in the face
The relationship beckons
and I'm on my way

Oooh, your sympathy,
goddammit
Oooh, your sympathy

I said that I love you
it wasn't a lie
and each time I say these words
the harder I cry

if only a compromise
just to say these things oh..
but your words are the weapon
and I was dead long ago

ooohhh your sympathy
goddamn it...
oohh.. your fuckin' sympathy

dead long ago...
i was dead long ago.

================================================================
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan.... buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan... -EDSA by S.D.

Dito. Hindi paparoon. Dito. Dito lang..

2008-01-30T00:52:00.001+08:00

Kapit Lang. Kapit Pa.

May mga bagay na mahirap ipaliwanag. Mga bagay na tama pero parang walang kabuluhan. Masakit pero kailangan. Totoo pero mahirap paniwalaan.
Ganyan ang pagmamahal. Ganyan din ang mga hiwalayan.
Sa pagmamahal, mahirap ipaliwanag, pero basta maligaya ka. Sa pagmamahal, basta tama, pakiramdam mo tama, kahit parang wala patutunguhan. Sa pagmamahal, may pangangailangan. Sa pagmamahal, alam mong totoo kahit mahirap paniwalaan.
Sa hiwalayan, mahirap ipaliwanag kasi parang walang sapat na dahilan. Sa hiwalayan, alam mong tama, kahit parang walang rason na tutugma. Sa hiwalayan, masakit, pero kailangan. Sa hiwalayan, totoo ang mga sitwasyon at problema, pero mahirap paniwalaan.
Sa tuwing may nagwawakas na pagsasama, sana hindi natin isiping wakas na din ng pag-ibig na pinagsaluhan nila. Sa tuwing may dalawang pusong tumatangis, sana may pagtahang naka-abang. Huwag tayong makalimot sa mga pinagdaanan. Huwag tayong magsarado ng pinto ng kinabukasan. Hindi man natin hawak ang salamin ng bukas, naroroon ang pag-asa ng kapayapaan. Maaring bilang magsing-irog muli na sinisinta ang isa't isa, o di kaya'y magkaibigang may pagmamahal, at pinagsamahan bilang matatag na pundasyon nila. Ano man ang mangyari, walang sapat na dahilan upang magkalimutan.Wala tamang rason upang itapon at iwaksi ang isa't isa sa kanilang mga buhay.
May bukas pa. May pag-asa pa. Kaya pa nating ayusin ang ating mga sarili. Ang ating mga buhay. Mahirap. Masakit. Masakripisyo. Pero kaya. Hindi pa katapusan ng mundo. Kaya huwag nating piliting tapusin ito.
May mga daan tayong kailangan bagtasing hiwalay sa landas ng kahit sino pa. Darating ang panahon na may makakasama at makakapiling ka sa buhay. Maaring kayo pa din sa bandang huli, maaring hindi. Ngunit ang mahalaga kailanman ay di tayo lumimot sa isa't isa.
Sa bawat pagtangis natin at pagpalahaw, ay pagpapaiwan sa hapdi ng nakaraan. Sa bawat pag-iyak at pagpatak ng luha, ay pananatili sa kirot ng kahapon. Sa bawat malungkot na hikbi ay paghila sa ating sarili at sa ating katipan sa sugat ng mga nakalipas.
Hindi masamang lumuha, kung patungo ito sa bukas. Hindi masamang tumangis, kung tutukoy ito sa pagsulong. Hindi masamang umiyak, kung pabaybay ito sa katahimikan at pag-ahon.
May hangganan ang pagtangis, pagsisisi at kalungkutan. Kailangan dumating tayo sa isang punto na pupulutin natin ang ating sarili at babangon.

Ang tanong ko lamang.
Bakit sa tuwing may iiyak.. may hihikbi... may mananangis....
bakit tila nahihila ako pabalik... nahuhulog ako pailalim.. Umuusad ako ng paurong....Balik sa sakit, pagkamuhi, pagsisisi, kawalang ng pag-asa at pagkasira....
Bakit ako napaparito muli sa nakaraang mga sugat, hapdi at kirot....
gayong hindi naman akin ang mga luhang pumapatak......

Ang sagot....
Ang pananatili mo sa mga sugat ng nakaraan....ay ang siya ring pananantili ko sa kirot at hapdi ng nakalipas. Walang maghihilom... hangga't hindi natin, tayo, pareho tayo, na magsisimulang bumangon at humakbang pasulong.
Kaya wag kang mag-alala... Kung nais mo pa din sa sakit, sa pagtangis, sa kirot at hapdi...hindi ka nag-iisa. Kapiling mo ako.

=================================================================
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

FOR SURE

2008-01-22T19:13:00.000+08:00

INTERNAL BLEEDING

I am feeling a certain kind of sadness. This is for certain.

I stare at my fingers on top of the keyboard... glance at the monitor and watch the words unravel one by one.

I want to put in on writing....what I feel right now.

It's that feeling....as if your chest is so heavy

like it want's to explode. A certain kind of warmth. Heat even.

It's when you stare blankly into nothingness, you feel tears welling up in your eyes.....

although no teardrop ever falls.

It's that feeling... like your filled inside with so much emptiness.

It's like tension building up.

like a volcano about to erupt.

It's that feeling.

A certain kind of sadness. That's for certain.

I feel it. The tears.

Though not one drop ever falls.

=================================================================
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

all flights canceled

2007-11-01T00:41:00.000+08:00

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Umariba pa!

2007-10-08T18:29:00.000+08:00

Anonymous said...
'ika nga ng isang makata, ng isang matalino,ng isang kanta what goes around, comes around. What goes up, must come down ingat ka na lang
October 4, 2007 1:50 PM

Anonymous said...
"what goes up, must come down"-coming back down is never the issue....as long as you know how to land.-hindi masamang bumagsak at bumaba. basta't alam kung paano lumapag.
October 6, 2007 2:45 AM

Kayraming handang mag-abogado ng paninindigan ng isang tulad ko sa mundo. Salamat sa inyo.
paibaba man o papaitaas, kapit na. maglalayag ako sa biyaheng kung tawagin ay BUHAY. Salamat sa inyong mga nangangalit na ako'y ilugmok....at sa inyong nagiging tinig at katwiran, na nagsisilbing pahintulot upang hindi na ako ang manambitan. :)

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

BIDA KA KOMENTARISTA

2007-09-11T19:35:00.000+08:00

MGA KOMENTO MULA SA PENNED; PINNED

isang naghahangad na makahanap ako ng kapayapaan at pagmamahal
isang nangangaral, at nais makatulong sa paghasa ng aking napiling sining
isang nagpapasalamat sa tulong na inialok
isang taong tumula, nagpakita ng pagkamuhi at pagkasuklam
isang taong nagtanggol at nagpaliwanag

sa inyong lahat salamat. may pumuna, may pumansin.
may lumingon. may dumaan.
may nabulag. may naloko.
sa madaling salita--
may pakialam kayo.

sayong nanalangin para sa aking pag-ibig, wag kang mag-aalala
mula pa nuong ako'y musmos, ang pag-ibig sa puso ko'y nananahan

sayong pantas na nais akong gabayan, salamat...
balang araw makukuha ko rin ang sukat at tugma, kaibigan

iyong pangatlo, ay ako, nagpapasalamat lamang. :-)

sa iyong namumuhi, nasusuklam, at nasusulasok ang kalamnan sa akin,
wag kang mag-aalala. di ka nag-iisa. marami kayong galit. marami kayong may
ibang pananaw sa akin. marami kayong marunong. marami kayong matalino.
marami kayong maraming alam. ayos lang talaga, sa totoo nga, ang galing mo, isa kang makata at nakagawa ka pa ng tula. :-)

payo lang....nanggaling ako dyan pare ko. at nun ko nabatid ang katotohanan. minsan, mas masaya, at higit na mas may talino pala ang mga mangmang at walang alam.

sa nagtanggol. salamat. di mo na dapat pinatulan. darating naman ang panahon. kusa nyang mahahanap ang pansarili nya kapanatagan ng loob. mapapawi din ang masasama nyang nararamdaman. tulad ng sinasabi ko lagi.... Ang EDSA kasi, maluwang at malaking daan.. kaya napakaraming nagkakamaling duon dumaan. pero kung lilingon lamang tayo sa tagiliran, may maliit na daan patungo sa puso natin... at sa tunay na kaliwanagan, at walang hanggang kaligayahan.

Sige. Una na ako. Salamat.

===================================================================

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Penned;Pinned

2007-08-24T01:27:00.000+08:00

MINUTES

What is left to write about?
When is it time to pen thoughts?
Where do you draw the line between ideas and facts?
How do you stretch you imagination?
Why write?

What is the purpose?
When did it begin?
Where will this lead?
How do I get there?
Why go?

What is the meaning?
When will it end?
Where after this?
How should I write?
Why try?

This is a poem with uncountabe verses
for I shall never stop asking.
This is a story with no ending
for I shall never stop writing.

To the last sentence.
the last word
the lost dot.

I go marching on.

==================================================================
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

BAGONG KABANATA

2007-07-14T15:24:00.000+08:00

ANG PAGBABALIK.

"I believe I can perform any duty or task that may be asked of me. I am a leader and a team player, and I am an achiever. I want everybody to feel part of the success, part of the process..."

At yun na....tanggap ako. Para akong dumaan sa butas ng karayom. The process was long and arduous, but worth it.

Palakad lakad ako, patungo sa pintong salamin... napapatingin sa helera ng mga kompyuter... sa mga nakasabit na headset.

Napangiti ako. Eto na naman ako. Pero ngayon, tumaas-taas na. Umasenso kumbaga.

Pero ako pa din to.

Hindi ako rehiliyoso.

Hindi ako cartoon superhero.

Isa akong call boy.

Ako si Christian.

At ito ang buhay ko, sa isang call center.

"Im back."

===================================================================

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

MEDIOCRITY

2007-06-30T11:03:00.000+08:00

RUDE AWAKENING

I was reading a comment posted on one of the entries I have here, and it was about Lois and Superman. It touched me and raised question in me.

I feel compelled to write about it.

Lately I have been wondering. Am I still the young boy who have supernatural powers? Or am I the guy who knows what do with them? Am I stuck in my ideals? Blinded by flattering remarks? Do I focus too much on the deeds I do, and what people view me as?

I ask myself, why do I do the things I do? Is it because I want to, or is it because of what people will say about me? Do I view myself a God, a Superhero with mortal traits? Or a mere mortal with superhero traits?

I have endured so many sufferings. And I do not count them. I do the deeds I do out of necessity, and in accordance to my principles, which are founded on strong virtues instilled in me. Am I always right? Heck no. The person that I am today was partly molded by the strong oppositions I received. Criticism, I believe is a fine knife to trim rough edges. Am I perfect?Not even close. But it's not gonna stop me from trying to at least do the right thing. Am I hypocritical by doing that? I want to believe not. Just being hopeful. Just trying to do what I can, though I don't think I always am able to.

Thank you. Whoever wrote it. It humbled me. It made me realize whatever I do, it is not for me, or the escalation of my persona. I do not want to lose track of that. This is not for me. I am a mere artwork of the great ARTIST.

Also I have learned the greatest truth to being a Superhero.... being human. and what is that? RISKING.

I am now risking my being accepted in society in pursuit of happiness. I am now ready to be judged by people, whose societal nature cultured prejudice and promoted unjust traditional views. I wish no claim to fame...I aim only after two things..... My pursuit of happiness....and my struggle for goodwill. Success in these two will just be a bonus. It's the fight in me that counts.

So, am I now a Superman? If I say I am, you'd say I still have a grand view of myself, so therefore I am not... If I say I'm not, you'd say I'm just saying that so that you'd tell me I have grown into a Superman.

I am neither.

Am I Clark Kent? A big resounding N-O. I am the living breathing crap of the world (according to Tyler Durden) who's just trying to be something more, and not die as still nothing but crap.

I am who I choose to be.

And I choose to be me.

A man who looks up to the ideals of a Superman, the resourcefulness of a Batman, the comic relief of a Spiderman, and the grit and determination of a Wolverine. So am I any of 'em?

No. I am even better. I am human, full of flaws, and in constant struggle against them, and yet at peace with my true nature.

So do you know now?

Who am I?

I am the biggest contradiction you will ever meet.

Just keep on guessing, keep on smiling.

I have the rest of this life to define myself. You've got the rest of yours to waste continuing to change your definition of who I am....

Or, you can make the most out of your life....

and choose to define yourself...

I thought so......good choice.

Good Luck my friend. :)

===================================================================

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

SAKLOLO

2007-06-29T17:41:00.000+08:00

Overboard

I am a man lost for words, for I am lost in dreams.

I freely dive into a pool of uncertainty,

And as expected, confusion has drowned me.

Yes, no man is too wise to escape its complexities,

No one is too clever to swim out to safety.

I’d been whipped and hacked by the tides of clulessness,

And my thoughts and feelings have been tormented ever since…

Smiles fade, frowns are born, questions raised, answers are torn

Doubts arise…there are no truths, there are no lies…

… There are only tears; there are only words spoken and deeds done.

I am tired… trying desperately to stay afloat…

Will I… Can I…

Ever swim out?

The answer lies in you…

… Stretch out your hand and reach for me…

Night Lights

2007-04-21T07:09:00.000+08:00

GABI GABI

Nais ko sanang ilabas lahat ng gustong sabihin ng aking puso. Nais kong ibuhos palabas ang laman ng aking isipan. Nais kong ipaalam sa iyo at sa mundo ang katotohan ng aking kalooban.
Ngunit saan ako magsisimula? Saan ako mag-uumpisa? Kayraming naglalaro sa utak, at namamahay sa damdamin, na tila yata may kalabuang himay-himayin upang malaman lamang kung ano rito ang siyang dapat unahin....

Sa kagustuhan ko sanang pag-isipang mabuti kung papaano ipaalam sa sandaigdigan ang lahat, kadalasa'y ipinipikit ko ang aking mga mata at sa wari'y ipagpipilitan kong mapasa-baon ako sa matinding pagmumuni-muni. Ngunit sa unang sandali pa lamang ng pagtikom ng talukap ng aking mga mata, nariyan ka na, lumalangoy sa sa aking ulirat.

Ang iyong mga mata na madaldal at matatas pa sa kahit sinumang batikang nakikipagbalagtasan, ay nagsisimulang tumitig sa aking kaluluwa, at nagsisimula ring ipangusap ang lahat ng damdaming arok ng isang tao. Libo libong iba't ibang mensahe, at libo libong boltahe ng kuryente ang kumikiliti sa aking kamalayan, ang siyang dala ng iyong mga mata. Wari baga'y isinasalamin ang likot at gulo ng sarili kong mga saloobin.

Maya maya pa sa aking pagkakalagak sa ganitong tagpo, iihip ang hanging malamig at dadampi sa aking mukha. Kataka taka namang ang pagsayad nito sa aking balahibo ay ibang init ang hatid. Isang malalim ng buntong-hininga ang aalpas sa akin, at masasalig ng aking labi ang kakaibang sensasyon. Nabubuo sa aking pagkakapikit ang hugis ng iyong mga labing kay tamis. Tila namang uhaw sa halik na humahabol sa hangin ang aking bibig, na tila ba alam na dala ng hangin ang tamis ng iyong labi. Ibang ligaya talaga ang nalalasap ng mga labing ngpapalitan ng pag-ibig. Ang iyong mga halik na apoy sa init, nakapapaso.... Ngunit di ko maintindihan kung bakit di magawang bitiwan ang pusok ng iyong labi. Di ko maunawaan kung bakit bilanggo ako ng yakap at halik, at kung bakit para bang kusa kong iginapos ang aking sarili.

Unti-unti nabubuo ang iyong pigura sa aking kamalayan. Nakikita ko na ang iyong magandang buhok... Na siyang kumukumot at bumubuhol sa akin sa isang yakap ng kakaibang bango. Amoy na nagbubulong sa akin, "ako ito. Ako'y iyo." Isang samyong mahirap kalimutan. Isang halimuyak na naiiwang nakaselyo sa kabuuan mo.

Ilang saglit pa, humahabol na sa kawalan ang aking kamay, pagkat buo na sa gunita ko ang iyong mga kamay. Ang iyong makinis na balat. Bawat dampi ay mga kurot ng lambing sa aking puso, At kapag daka'y natagpuan ang iyong mga kamay, humahawak dito't ayaw ng bumitiw. Sa kamay mo lamang nararamdaman ang kapayapaan. Dito sa pagitan ng iyong mga daliri at sa pagsalo ng iyong mga palad, dito ko batid ang taimtim na dalangin.... Sa kamay mo lamang matatagpuan ang pangako ng mga pusong tigib sa pagmamahalan, "Walang iwanan, walang hanggan."

Nakikita na kita. Ilang sandali pa, at naulinigan ko na iyong tinig. Parang musikang ibinubulong ng hangin. Bawat salitang namumutawi sa iyong bibig, ay himig na bitbit ang pag-ibig na di kayang pantayan, at lalong di kayang sukatin. Sa tinig mo, tahimik at panatag ang aking kaluluwa. Sa pamamagitan nito, testigo ang aking mga tenga, sa sumpaang di matitibag ng panahon. Makapagpapatotoo ang mga ito, sa mga salitang iniukit sa damdamin, itinatak sa puso, nililok sa pagkatao, at ipinabaon sa kaluluwa, "mahal kita. hanggang sa walang hanggan at sa hangganan pa nito."

Pagdilat kong muli, basa na pala ang aking mga pisngi. Tuloy pa din ang agos ng luha mula sa aking mga mata. Ang kaninang naglalamlam kong sentimiento, ngayon ay naguumapaw sa saya, lungkot, at pagmamahal.

Isang huling sulyap sa aking kuwarto. Natagpuan ng aking mga mata, bagama't di ko ito hinahanap, ang iyong larawan sa gilid ng kama, nakatayo sa maliit kong lamesa. Agad ko itong nilapitan at kinuha. Dinampian ng halik, at di sinasadayang mabasa ng luha rin... Bumulong ako na tila ba ikaw ang narito't hawak ko.....ibinulong ang mga salitang sa iyo ko naririnig.... "Di kita iiwan. Hintayin mo ako. Hintayin mo ako mahal ko."

LET THY HAND FLOW

2006-12-07T15:47:00.000+08:00

Ginnungagap and Hades

Hi. Still remember me? Yep. Same face, with the exception of some more lines added, that just indicates the years added as well.

There. My first pause. I was trying to write something. Put my thoughts on paper, and express the feelings that I harbor inside. But as both my hands were placed over my keyboard, right after the second line, I paused. I'm losing it. Things are just not the same. I am not the same. Some things are just not how they used to.

I don't even know why I started writing in the first place at this very moment. Probably it was becaused of the fact that I browsed and read some of my previous works before. It's funny how when I read it, I still feel them; you know, the emotions involved in each and every line? I feel them all like they were always there. And then I read some of other people's comments about my works. And I smiled at each and every single one.

Probably that's when I felt compelled again to write. So here I am wasting time and energy and electricity in front of a computer. Because I can't seem to come up with anything good anymore. I can't seem to find something new to write about or how to write about something old, and make it sound or look new again. Gone. It's all gone. They say I can express emotions and feelings like no other, and yet now, I have a thousand and one different emotions mixed up inside and me, and I cant even describe a single one. People used to say I can expound on subjects that are commonly avoided by others, and that I tread on the path few choose to take, discussing things that others readily deny. But now that I have so many points I want to prove, so many ideas I wanna share, so many opinions I want to voice out, I cannot even explain a simple why, or answer a simple how....

It's a gift, you know. ...the ability to invent and re-invent yourself, as well as your works. The ability to adapt without compromising principles, to be able to co-exist without surrendering your ideals. And to transform your creativity into a spring for everyone to indulge on. I never had that gift. I probably just pretended I had it, or I probably wanted to believe I had it. But apparently I dont.

Because a man of words will not run out of things to say. A man of thought will never stop thinking. A writer will never run out of things to write about. A man with passion will never stop feeling. But I did. I want to go on, but it's like I reached a dead end.

A wall on the road. A mountain too steep to climb. An ocean that stretches too far. A hole in the ground that plunges too deep.

Ah. The way I used to write. The way I used to be. They are not very far from each other.

They are now both a distant memory.

But wait. Funny. I may have written today like I used to write before.And this is probably the last time I will be able to do it. I expressed my emotions, like no one can, expounded on a subject many avoid, readily accepted and wrote about something readily denied by everyone, and I have once again, for one final time, shared and voiced out who I am and what I feel.

You ask what could it be? When what I wrote about feels so empty?

And I answer,

Exactly.

I am now at a point, where everything seems so empty.

at a point where I feel so empty.

My life seems so empty.

And if you think what I wrote about right now and how I wrote it seems so senseless, pointless,

and, err, well, yeah, empty....

then I have once again, for the last time succeeded in my work.

Message sent.

Message recieved.

Blank Screen.

Tabula Rasa.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

GRAB THE WHEEL

2006-12-07T15:41:00.000+08:00

BLACKIE....

"Boss, full tank." - sabay ngiti ko sa gasoline boy.

"Ser, wensheld?" tanong sakin nito. Sabi ko di na, kaka-linis lang. Sputing ng sputing nga naman ngayon to. bagong carwash at naka-wax pa. Napangiti na lang ako. Luma man, gwapo naman to, nasabi ko. pagkatapos punuin nung attendant yung sasakyan, sumibat na ko. Tonight is a wonderful night to drive, I thought to myself.

I cruised the streets very relaxed. I had a big smile on my face that I can't seem to rub off. Para akong tanga. Nakangiting mag-isa. Tumingin ako sa tabi ko. syempre walang nakaupo. Napangiti ulit ako sabay balik ng tingin sa kalsada. Sumulyap ako sa relo. Maaga pa. Makapagkape muna. Isang kaliwa, derecho parada sa kanan, at ayun, I saw myself sitting alone enjoying a cup of coffee. Sa bawat higop ko ng mainit na kape, magkahalong init at sarap... parang mga pangyayari sa buhay, magkahalong tamis at pait.

Inaalala ko lahat ng mga nangyari sa aking buhay. Mula nung ako'y bata hanggang sa kung nasaang katayuan ako ngayon. Andaming nakapagpangiti sa akin at andami ring nagpangilid ng aking luha. Tapos naglaro sa utak ko kung ano naman ang magiging buhay ko pa. Kung anong bukas ang haharapin ko. Medyo na pa seryoso ako ng kaunti. Bahagyang napawi ang ngiti ko sa labi. Pinasukan ang dibdib ko ng kaba at takot sa magiging bukas ko.

Pero bigla na naman sumagi sa isip ko ang dahilan ng lahat. Sulit ang lahat. naisip ko. Kakayanin ang kahit ano. Sisikat din ang araw sa bukas ko. Pag puso ang nagsabi, dapat magtiwala. Alam ko. Nararamdaman ko. Totoo. Dito ang bukas ko.

Sumakay na ako ulit. Oras na. U-turn, liko sa kanan, kanan ulit, derecho lang. Ops. Eto na. Dito ako maghihintay. Naisip kong bumaba muna para tingnan kung naihanda ko ng maayos lahat. Tiningnan ko lahat ng gamit at kung wala akong nalimutan. Jacket. di puwedeng kalimutan. Natawa ako. Maginaw. Lalo na at magpapasko. Tinanaw ko ang simbahan sa aking harapan. Dito nabuo ang isang pangako. Dito din ito matutupad. Sumilay muli ang ngiti sa aking mukha. Nangilid ang luha. haayy.. napabuntung-hininga ako ng maisip ko, kay tagal na paghihintay.

Maya maya pa, sumilip na sa pinto ang ang isang anino. Pero di ang inaasahan ko. Mapanglaw ang mukha at matamlay ang bati. Nag-abot ng sulat sa akin. Kinukutuban na ako pero ayaw ko pang aminin na alam ko na ang mga susunod na kaganapan. Ganoon yata kapag nagmamahal, hangga't kayang panghawakan, panghahawakan ang nararamdaman.

At ayun na nga. Pagbukas ko ng sulat, agad nabasa ng luha ang papel. Unti unting lumabo ang pigura ng nasa aking harapan. Palibhasa'y nahaharangan ng luha sa aking mata ang aking mga nakikita. Unti unti din syang lumayo at nawalang tuluyan.

Nawalang tuluyan tulad ng lahat ng mga pangarap ko.

Sumakay ako ng sasakyan. Start ng makina. Malamlam din ang takbo ng makina. Parang nakikiayon sa aking nararamdaman. Pagtakbo namin, mabagal at parang walang kasiguraduhan kung saan ang tungo. Bigla akong huminto sa isang sulok ng kalyeng madilim. Nagbukas ng alak, tumungga at nilagok ang kaya. Pangatlong angat ko ng bote, tuloy-tuloy suka ako sa bukas na bintana, sabay palahaw ng iyak. Nililinlang na lamang ako parati. Parati akong naiiwan mag-isang nananaginip. PAg-gising ko, ako na lang at wala ng katabi. Bakit maka-ilang ulit na akong umiyak? Bakit maka-ilang ulit na akong nag-iisa sa dulo ng karera? Bakit paharap silang lahat naglakad ngunit biglang talikod sa dulo?

Ayoko na. Ayoko nang maiwan pang muli. Walang nanatili kahit isa. Sumakay muli ako sa sasakyan. Lumabas ang ngitngit ng kabiguan, gayundin naman muli, naki-ayon ang makina at nangangalit na sumibad paalis. Agos ang luha, humigpit ang kapit ko sa manibela. Napahawak sa kambyo kahit di naman ito balak galawin. Umikot ng mabilis ang aking paningin sa loob ng sasakyan.

Blackie. Ikaw lang ang di lumayo. Ikaw lang ang sumama sa akin sa lahat ng dinaanan nating bagyo. Araw man o ulan, may aircon man o wala, lubak man o patag, sinuong nating magkasama. Di mo ko iniwan. Lahat na mabibigat na bangga ng aking buhay sinalo mong lahat.

Naroon ka nung panahon ng saya at nanangis kang kapiling ko nung ako'y nagdadalamhati.... Kaw lamang ang nagtiyaga. You stuck with me through thick and thin. Sa lahat ng oras at panahon di mo ako iniwan....pag inasahan kita, di mo ko ipinapahiya. Tinuruan mo kong magtiwala sa'yo.

Lahat ng dahilan ng ngiti ko, ikaw ang testigo. Lahat ng pag-iyak at pagdurusa ko, ikaw din ang makapagpapatotoo.

Tara na, nasabi ko, sabay apak sa silinyador. todo na kung todo. Parang mga luha ko. Di ko na pipigilan pa. Blackie hanggang dulo na to. Sabay nating sukuan ang mundo. matagal na tayong paulit-ulit sinusukuan nito. Umiyak ang makina. Sumabay sa sigaw. Handa na rin sya. Kung san ako, dun din sya. Blackie salamat.

Streaming lights, swirling lights round and round. I could not feel anything anymore but the firm grip of my hands on the stirring wheel....

Like the firm grip of my heart to my faith and to love.

And like my hands on the wheel.

My heart too, held it tight to the very end.

Salamat sa paghatid sa kin Blackie.

Abang lang tayo.

Padating na sundo natin.

At tuloy tuloy lang ang pag-iyak ko.

Tuloy tuloy lang ang pagmamaneho.

================================================================

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

TO THE ANONYMOUS LOIS LANE...

2006-11-26T11:37:00.000+08:00

Dear Ms Lane

I have long realized what you have Ms. Lane. Nobody's perfect. And nobody is purely good. Not me, not you, and no one else.

Introspection is indeed a gift, and to be able to admit your flaws, and to look in the mirror and see yourself for who you are, and as you put it, a mortal with superhero traits, not a superhero with mortal traits, then you should be on the right track.

I have never viewed myself any higher than an average, mild mannered man. Though at times, As I try to impart or share my ideals, it may seem that way, I am not.

I just have an amazing belief that if we try, we can.

And an even more amazing belief that Good will find a way to triumph...

I am not perfect. I am no Superman. Hell, Like I always say, I don't even think I fit in as a Clark Kent.

Believing is the first part. Faith is the second step.

Never trade your ideals for being practical.

Your not getting the better end of the bargain my friend.

=================================================================

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

STRONG... WORD-STRONG

2006-11-22T13:54:00.000+08:00

LOST IN TRANSLATION

I said nice, not cold as ice...

Did you call me mice you lice?

Please don't tease, lets put this to a cease

all I want is peace...

You want a piece? Of me? I thought we're

friends? but no! You couldn't resist, you beast!

Peace, not beast.... I waved hello,

I didn't say we're foes...

I said STAND together, not FACE each other

toe to toe....

It's a make or break decision, all these lie upon

Whose a pawn? So you think your the boss?

I'm the leader, that's your loss!!!!

Take a breather, PAUSE... I know your boss...

Amidst communication all we got is confusion

with good intentions came bad assumptions.

And did I mention?

We're lost in translation.

Now smile. And let's speak the only language that we both know and understand...

The language of hearts. The one spelled by respect, defined, by love, synonymized to care,

rhymed with friendship, conjuncted by values, claused by virtues.

With this, there's no losing each other in translation.

See the connection? :-)

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

HIN-THIN

2006-10-16T14:37:00.001+08:00

Someone sent me this, a poem about water and love...

You are a part of me...

You are most of me.

You are water.

My life is dry in your absence.

The longer you are away,

The more the thirst becomes unbearable.

Your presence is sweet upon these parched lips.

Your company feels cool upon my burning skin.

Every drop of you brings incomparable bliss...

That it drowns me.

This is my response...

you are part of me...

you are most... you are whole of me...

you are air.

i cannot breathe in your absence.

i cannot live without your presence...

i can go without water for days...

but a minute more without you,

and my veins will pop and my heart will burst.

the longer you are away

the more the need for you becomes unbearable.

your sweet presence is life beteween body and soul.

your company is the embrace of a cool breeze.

every inhale, every breath i take brings incomparable rapture....

that it blew me away.

==============================================

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

NOON AT NGAYON

2006-10-12T16:44:00.000+08:00

NUONG ARAW.....

"alam ko mas marami kang naibibigay, lalo na't ikumpara sa kakarampot kong naibibigay. Pero yung kaunting naibibigay ko....Yun na lahat ng mayroon ako."

I know you are giving far more, especially compared to what little I am able to give. But whatever little I give....is everything I have.

NGAYON....

"Ano man ang naibigay ko na.....ako ay may maibibigay pa. Hihigtan kong paulit ulit, ibibigay lahat, akin man o hindi."

Whatever I have given......I still have more to give... I will top what I've done and given over and over again. I will give everything, be it mine or not.

BUKAS....

"isinusulat pa lamang ng Kamay ng Kapalaran."

it is still being written by the Hand of FATE

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

TINKABAWTIT

2006-08-24T00:33:00.000+08:00

Maling Akala Ba?

Nakakatawa at nakakalungkot. Parang kelan lang ng mag-umpisa ang lahat.

Lahat tayo umasa, lahat nangarap.

Lahat nag-akala na lahat ng bagay maabot, lahat mararating.

Akala natin pang-MATAGALAN na, tipong PERMANENTE ba

yung mga tawanan at biruan. yung mga tampuhan at inuman

syempre yung trabaho din.

Yun pala. May hangganan lang kung saan kaya.

kasama ba sa may mga ending....

Ang mga samahan.... ang pagkakaibigan?

ang pagtuturingang pamilya at pagkakapatiran?

kala ko kasi pang-MATAGALAN. tipong PERMANENTE ba.

nakakatawa at nakakalungkot.

Marami palang puedeng magbago.

Wala lang. Nakakahinayang. Nakakapanibago.

===================================================================

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Factual Fiction

2006-02-27T21:16:00.000+08:00

Come To Think Of It

TAKAtakatakataktak

I pound on my helpless keyboard relentlessly. I've been in front of my PC for three hours and I have notbeen able to come up with anything but trash, all trash. It's been, what? My 6th stick, and I don't even really smoke. Some writer I am. I've been typing, word after word, different lengths and spellings, yet it all reads like "shit, shit, shit, shit, shit...." Nothing.

You have to write something ture, she said. You have to write something real, she said. When I write, it has to be something factual, she said, and beautiful at the same time she said. Damn. She said it was supposed to be artistic, but honest. Non-fiction, she said.

Why? Fiction is so much better. Being in control of what happens next. Creating a world far from what reality is. Having the power to make things as beautiful as you want it to be. Being the master of a universe you so choose to create. The authority over destiny, over "reality". Everything is your creation. Things can be as bad as hell, or as heavenly as you please. Fiction.

But where is the challenge in that huh? The real challenge is seeing diamonds out of coals. Seeing pearls out of clams. Or it could be the other way around, seeing the diamonds as mere coals, and pearls as dirt inside a clam's guts. Where do I start? What truth shall I choose to ponder on? Okay, I'm offically on my 7th stick. And all this talk of diamonds and coals and pearls just makes me feel, eve more troubled.

I do not want to recall the realities.... because most of them are tragedies. I do not want to reminsce moments in time, because most of 'em, I cannot call mine....I do not want to remember, because it's like your heart's a dismember.... I do not wish a memory, if such a heresy. I do not want no truth, if it offers but sour fruits....

I am at a loss. I wish I were real. The me that I see in my dreams. The one with all smiles. The one I see reaching out. I wish I were real. That.... really.... I could really.... fly.

Come to think of it.... there may yet be hope for non-fiction.

Believe.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang pus

o ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

HEKATE; Hecate;

2006-02-26T22:01:00.000+08:00

Love...and Its Tenet.

How the world has changed in front of my very eyes. Just before I sat down to write, I took a glimpse at myself in front of the mirror. The ages have treated me well. Baaah.. .Who was I fooling... My graying hair and the wrinkles on my face can't lie. My granddaughter used to asked me what I looked like when I was younger. I simply told her that her grandmother was one of the most beautiful girls, and a young and pretty girl like her wouldn't fall for an ugly man. There are nights when I would carry her to her room and tuck her in bed, and would realize it's gonna be one of those nights. Sometimes, when I look at my son, and his wife Maria sitting by the sofa with their hands clamped together, i also know, its gonna be one of those nights. A night filled of memories.

Therese was about 20 yrs old when we met. She was a top student from a top college, not to mention being a campus crush. I was from a different school and had no credentials to show that would be at par with hers. Paul introduced me to her (I wonder how Paul is nowadays?). Like any other guy at that time I was instantly attracted to her. She had the looks and the smarts.

I want to say that our story was of love at first sight, that it was true love from the beginning. But it wasn't. She dumped me more than once. She had a boyfriend, and I went my way. I was never good enough for her. When they broke up, as if by some weird twist of faith, we were already talking again. We grew closer as time passed by, until I was finally able to tell her how I feel. I almost went crazy with joy, when, to my surprise, she said she felt the same way too. Yes I know. I am too old for this higschool romance crap. It's just that, everytime I remember, I also remember how it feels. I feel young all over again...

Sometimes in my old age, there are things I forget from time to time. I have a little box that reminds me, when times like that happen....Inside I have pieces of the special moments we shared together. Inside I have her theme paper which I wrote for her, and she never did pass it (she ended up doing one on her own). There's a locket inside with her picture and the date 06-12... the 12th of June. Yes. that was the day. It is so ironic how I surrendered my solitude on the day of National Independence. I still smile everytime I think about it. I have the hanky she cried on when she broke up with Jay, her boyfriend before I came into her life. There's also this piece of thread tied together to form a circle, a ring according to her. She made me wear it once and made me promise that it would be the ring of our love, forever tied and bonded. I even have the table napkin I used to wipe off her lipstick of my lips the first time she kissed me. I could go on and on about our little treasures, jewels of love I have gathered throughout our lives together.
It's about 6 in the evening already. I'd have to go for a little walk now. I do this almost everyday. Rarely do I miss out on my routine.

-------- Let me continue writing. I am now here, sitting on the greenest grass known to me. The winds are nice and cool, and it feels so peaceful. When I walk, I also remember how fond we are of walking together, and sometimes we end up arguing in the middle of the street (Therese will kill me if she finds out I've been writing all this stuff about her.) Therese is a tough woman, you know. She is a non-conformist, and fights for somethings she believes in. It would take a huge amount of good reason for her to yeild. Don't take me wrong. She listens. And she understands me. It's just that she has a firm of grip of her own philosopies just I do on mine. We would end up sometimes raising our voices, then end up with the softest whsipers of I-love-you's and I'm-sorry's. We would kiss and I would embrace her tightly.

On the way here I passed by a corner of a street where an old classy restaurant used to stand. It is no longer a restaurant, but rather a coffee shop. Therese and I had our first date there. Nostalgia still seems to remind of how messy I was, and how I made her smile and laughter everytime I cracked one of my signature corny jokes.... 3 days before we got married, we learned that they were closing out the place. We decided to change all our wedding plans and held the reception there. They were gonna flatten it to the ground, but I helped the owner sell it to a coffee shop owner instead. I don't want to lose such a valuable piece of history in the story of our lives.

We've also had times apart. Sometimes it would be because of work. Sometimes because we would break up (when we were not yet married). Everytime though, we end up in each other's arms again with a firmer hold, and firmer stand on never letting go...ever again.
Therese is more than a wife. She's a friend, a partner, a playmate, a mother, a grandmother. She's always good at what she does. That's why I continue to love her. I just cannot stop. When Im in moments of deep thought I remember her many looks....I remember how devastated she looks when in despair or in tears, or how the whole world seems to smile with her when she's happy. Therese. My Therese. The story of our lives. And of our love. I guess its time for me to see her now. I have to put down my pen first. My old hands are getting stiff anyway. When I get there, I will continue where I left of.

---------Here I am, writing again. In front of the love of my life. She helped me become who I am today. She made me realize my mistakes. She helped me realize my strengths. Therese pulled me through the toughest times of my life, and dried my tears when I was almost drowing in them. (I'm sure Therese wouldn't mind if I write a little while I'm with her).

"Grandpa! Grandpa!" Karla. Here she is. My angel. I asked her where her mom and dad were, and she pointed away. I saw the two walking towards us. I glanced at Therese and smiled. Everyone's here. Time to go home. I stood up and carried Karla and gave her to her dad.

"Grandpa, where is Grandma? You told me God took her. Where did Papa Jesus take her?" Karla asked while her dad carried her with her puppy eyes looking at me--so very like Therese's. I told her she's in heaven. Waiting. When we will all be together again....

I took out a small box out of my pocket and took out a piece of paper. it read "love is my creed--Norman" and another piece of paper read "and you, its only tenet.--Therese."

In Love Forever,
Norman

Amidst the greenest grass and the scattered trees, cold stones of different shapes with different names and numbers rest on the ground. One was so cold, but it housed the warmest emotions. Words of fire fueled this warmth, and encrypted on the stone, it read,

"My Love's Only Tenet..."
"Theresa Clark"

SLICED, DICED, MINCED, CHURNED

2006-02-13T22:44:00.000+08:00

VaLeNtInO

Cupido san ka ba nagsuot?

Dala mo ba ang superglue

Na magdidikit sa puso ko?

NA biyak at wasak

at tila malabo ng mabuo?

Wag mo kalimutan ang iyong pana

siguraduhin mong sapol at tatama....

tigib na ang puso ko sa sakit...

Cupido!!! Cupido!!! Narito ako...

Itutok mong mabuti ang pana o punyal....

Yung tiyak na kikitil sa aking buhay....

at bubuhay sa aking pag-ibig...

Cupido...

Cupido...

Naghihintay ako....

Salamat sa iyo...

Pag-ibig...............

saktan mo pa ako.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

TO MY FELLOWMEN; SA AKING MGA KABABAYAN

2006-01-12T07:13:00.000+08:00

I would want to share something to all you NOYPI's out there.
This was inspired and partly taken from THE FIRST FILIPINO, a biography I read recently.
This is my own take on one particular part there.

IT WAS NOT IN VAIN
(Hindi Nasayang)

"VIVA ESPANA!!!!"- Shouted the Spanish soldiers, lead by some of the Spanish and Filipino Goverment officials present that day. It was scorching hot that afternoon, and so were the cruel flames of desire, reflected through the burning, piercing stares and glares, all towards one soul, at the middle of the field. It was his day. One way ticket to both end and beginning.

Murmurs and hearsays passed from ear to ear amongst the crowd. Some say he's a hero, some say he's a rebel. Few claim to have met him personally, most speak about how adored the man was. Some say he was a genius, but some say he's stupid, having gotten himself in the situation he was in at that moment. Some say he was caught while planning a rebellion. But the worse I heard was a fellow Indio, a brother by race, was the mongrel who turned him over to the Spaniards.

Jesus, had a Judas who betrayed with a kiss in exchange for 30 pieces of silver.

He, had a fellow countryman, betray him with a pointing finger, in exchange for acceptance and privileges from what they pertain to as their Motherland, SPAIN.

How far they have drifted from the truth.

"DEATH TO TRAITORS! LONG LIVE SPAIN" - echoed through the fields.

In Jesus' story, the very crowd that yelled HOSSANAH and HALLELUJAH during one Sunday, and waived palm leaves at him, were the same people who threw stones at him and yelled "CRUCIFY HIM!"

And in his case, those that now clamor for his death, were the same people who claimed to be comrades and brothers to his cause. History does repeat itself....

CONSUMATUM EZ!!! said he.

IT IS DONE!!! said Jesus.

One way to ticket to the end of life and the beginning of an immortality.

As the crowd slowly diminished by numbers, there were still a lot who remained when they started to inch closer and closer to the body that lay on the field.

They wanted to see if the mythical, the god-like Rizal was indeed really dead. They wanted to grab some piece of memorabilia or keepsake, or dip their hanky's with the hero's blood.

They believe. The faithfuls.

If only he had seen, then the first Filipino would have known that he was not the last....

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

QUESTION AND ANSWER PORTION

2005-11-25T11:26:00.000+08:00

Sinulat niya....

pawns & demigods

are people bounded
by something intangible
set by the entity unknown
the collective unconscious

people rise in power
others drown in nothingness
power controls others
and the demigods are born

the less fortunate
more each day they become
the prey of gluttonous greed
and the pawns are they

expendable
exploited
abused
incarcerated....

and the demigods still ascend
to the pillars of wealth
of which is dries the pawn
of every single drop of its right

suppressed are the feelings
of the wandering poor souls

Sinulat ko...

Songs from the Pawn

Untied! I have come loose,
of the intangilbes that bind
I now come full circle
conscious and now knowing

Those that rise in power,
are those that fly on nothing
they who control water,
are those who thirsts forever
The pseudos of the demigods!

The "lessers" are those that have more
They who get corrupted by other's greed
Are the incorruptibles when it comes to faith
Us pawns now come alive

Believe expendability
Exploitation of weaknesses
Abuse of authority
Incarceration of humanity

The Omnipotent is omniscient
He sees and He is just
Those the rose to pillars of wealth and power
And claim that their thrones would last forever
He sees and he deals
For only His reign lasts forever

Of every climb and ascent of the demigods
Of every fall and descent of the pawns
The inclination and biases of society
That caters to dark intentions backed up
by colorful deceptions, would all see an
End, and the ever-viscous cycle, and
Greed-consuming trend, will halt and cease

Because pawn hung to dry up
From its every right….

The suppression feelings shall build
A volcano of highly spirited but wandering poor souls

Tick-tock……
It is bound to explode.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Sabi nIya.....Sabi ko....

2005-11-25T11:05:00.000+08:00

SABI NIYA........

IRONIC

friendship at loves end, can be beautiful
yet painful. you can be friends yet share
something special with each other. Knowing that
this person cares for you and will be there
for you. The knowing that this person no longer
needs to prove such things to you. However, this
same thing that is so beautiful, will always be
a reminder of what was not and what cannot be.

-mr. anderson

SABI KO....

Ode to Irony

Love at friendship’s end, is painfully beautiful. Friends, sharing a
Common bond, a mutual feeling, and communal understanding that
It stays just that, a silent contract with no obligations. You know that he cares
And that he will be there… And though no words are exchanged and no
Kisses thrown, there is no need to prove it. Now, no matter how painful
the knowledge that things cannot be, will always be so beautiful,
Because you know, what is deep inside you and me.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

SHE SAID, HE SAID

2005-11-21T11:27:00.000+08:00

ELSIE SAID...

Let Me Sleep

Let me sleep
Close these eyes to images of happiness that won't be mine.
Rest these arms that unfailingly reach towards a shadow.
Deafen these ears to a lovesong's bittersweet rhyme.

A sleep
... to cover me in peaceful darkness
floating higher into self emancipation
free from the bonds of unrequited desires and frustrations.
... to take me into my dreams
where brotherly love evolves into passion
and amity is not an end.

Let me sleep.
Save these tears that leave the soul wilted and tired.
Calm this heart that mourns the saddest memories
Unload the guilt of this covetous, sorry mind.

A sleep
... to bring me few moments of bliss
lying in his able arms, gazing into his eyes
... to create my own fairytale
where my troubles succumb to unconditional love
and i, the princess who saves the day.

Let me sleep.

- - - - - my pseudonym: Elsie

----------------------------------------

I SAID....

A Reply to ELSIE

For so long you have troubled me,
Pestered me, with long sleepless nights
And endless conversations.
Deafen my ears
With shouts and whispers alike. But now that
I am asked to take my rest and hibernate to
Long peaceful sleeps…

I can’t.

Wake me.

Open my eyes to images of smiles and laughter, and let me own them
Through conscious recall
Catch these arms reaching out, trying to escape the shadows.
I no longer want to hear a fairy or a nymph’s rhyming love songs..
I sought to create, compose my own.

Awaken

….unclothed me of the darkness masked as peaceful silence
let me back on the ground, away from my self-induced “high”
…bring me back to reality
where dreams become truth, and where all types of love exist,
and where “never-end” is a valid scrabble word.

Awaken

Let my tears wash clean my soul, revitalize the wilted, tired spirit
Revolt my heart from mourn and misery, to put up a fight to be happy
Make my guilt a weapon to wake my every fiber to the path of right

Awaken me

….to make a few moments of bliss last an eternity, through my mem’ries
to remember those embraces, and those stares that melt me down
….to remake fairy tales to true stories
where princesses don’t end up with princes…but with paupers like me,
who offer love on a silver platter, and “ever-after’s” as a ring.

Wake me. Please.

And leave me that way. Awake.

---------------------------------------------------------

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

SMile

2005-08-14T04:55:00.000+08:00

I've been noticing a trend

I haven't written anything good...

Life is good

Sure work is shit...

Pressure in class sucks...

and yeah family isn't quite holding it up for me...

and yeah....

someone passed away...

but yeah.. life is good....

it is.

no sarcasm here...

amidst it all

smile...

;-)

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

GWYDION

2005-07-29T10:48:00.000+08:00

F.W.A. jr

I want to quit. I can’t go on. Not like this. But how? Is there simply no escape? I have been living an escape for so long. I have been running and hiding far too long. What is next for me? And what is next for you all who watch, all you who are wondering, what is next of me? Can I fall? Will you be willing to witness defeat? After I am stripped of all colours, will you still look? After you see the hideous truth, will you care enough to dress me up? Will you care at all?

You have all been part of one big ride. You have all been part of one big joke. You have all been fooled. I’m sorry, what I mean is, WE, have all been fooled. I tried. I failed. I thought my ways and means were right, they were wrong. I am sorry. Forgive me. I am nothing. I have to go. I wasted everything. Everything, be it mine or not, given or earned. Sorry.

Now, there is no escape from my life of escape. Though reluctant I must continue in this direction, for there is no other direction for me anymore. I shall worry about the ghosts of my actions later…When they’ve come back to haunt me.

Sorry. And God help me.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

PULL

2005-07-22T19:00:00.000+08:00

HEAR ME!

HEAR ME SHOUT!

HEAR MY VOICE....

I am all smiles. and regardless of what things may seem I am happy.
Now simply and humbly ask.....

That you all smile back at me.

No need for tears. I was no martyr saint.

No need to salute. I was no soldier of honor.

No need for fake and phony testimonies of greatness. We all know I was no one extraordinary.

Just smile back.

Wave goodbye to me.

Then. It's ok.

I know soon you will forget me. I am not that great to remember.

But I shall remember you all.
With tears,
With salutes,
With true testimonies,
and most of all,

with a smile.

It counts not if you forget or remember.

What counts is that I REMEMBER.

I love you.
All of you.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Missinn You Sessions

2005-06-22T12:34:00.000+08:00

I

Walk me down the alley of life
Like you always did before
Can't you see now that you're gone
It's tearin up my heart
I've never felt so much alone
Walking by myself

REF

I want you close
I want you near
I want you here
With me

II

Hold my hand nver let go
Like you never did before
Only wish you're back with me
So I won't be alone anymore

REF

I want you close
I want you near
I want you here
With me

END

Can't you see I'm
Holding back the tears
Hiding it all inside
I never felt so alone before
Now I know
You've always been so much more...

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Deux Ex Machina

2005-05-27T10:31:00.000+08:00

Yugto

Walang sabi sabing mawawala sa iyo ang lahat. Ayoko, pero ngayayari ito. Susuko ba ako? Titiklop? O magpapatuloy? Lalaban? Kung ibang digmaan siguro ito maaari pa. Kung yung tipong makukuha mo ang premyo, kung gugustuhin mo. Kung matatalo mo ang kaaway ng determinasyon. Ngunit paano...kung ang kaaway ay panahon at pagkasawa? paano kung ang premyo ay pag-ibig? Hindi ito napipilit. Pag ayaw, ayaw.

Bakit sa panahong kailangan mo siya tsaka siya liliban? Kung kailan aalis ang lahat, bakit pati siya. sabi niya, sasamahan niya ako.

Apat na taong pakikipaglaban, at ako ngayo'y nasa pag-iisip...
tinuldukan na niya at nilagdaan ang aking kasawian...

tatanggapin ko ba ang kabiguan?

Pag-ibig. Puso. Gabayan mo ako.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

SILBATO

2005-05-25T07:40:00.000+08:00

NTT

Stop. Look. Listen.

Tawid, mag-gilid, tumabi, takbo,

March. Ready. Start.

Buslo, tapos, simula, mali,

Foul. Time-out. Resume.

Priiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttt.....huuweeet-huweeeooww.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

BEFORE ENDS.....

2005-05-21T08:06:00.000+08:00

STARS are EDIBLE

The possibilities of impossiblities being possible
is a possibility not at all impossible.
i think of thoughts not usually thought of, and the thought of thinking makes me think
i am thinking and that i'm a thinker
learning to smile, when the world frowns
is grace under pressure, like fashion in style
a smile is always in season in fashion
so smile

i dream big dreams that most would not dare dream of
but dared dream and didnt stop there and went as far
as to making dreams reality and reality into dreams.
Still I scream I beam, and letting off steam
because I feel nothing I achieved is real
bothered by people's appeal. people I love
People who think I am the real deal
What a lie...what a steal...

I fail them. They have dreams for me.
And dreams that end up as nothing
but first-blown steam, no follow-up
no end statement, no period.

a sentence with no punctuation
not even a question, no situation
no intention, for an excalamation
as a finale to an action
the showing i have shown
is not even a fraction
of the measure of treasure
welling up like a seizure
not manifested, yet always tested

potential energy is never kinetic energy
unless actualized realized
will I brave it and live it?
or shy away, turn away, stay away,
rest and lay, hope and pray
decieve and leave?

The stars, very far
like headlights of skyline cars
sweet to the eye like mouth to choc'lit bars
leaves light on you like moonlit scars

The stars. they are yours.When will grab them?
reach out and pull them
out of the sky, eat them, munch them, chew them, swallow them.

Brave 'em.

There will be room for the impossible
If you don't fill up your space with all that is possible..

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Padama;

2005-05-09T10:48:00.000+08:00

How does she do it? How can her words turn into kisses....her lines and phrases, into warm, or even steamy embraces? Is it possible to caress her long hair, to feel her soft skin,through pen and ink? Can you hear soft moans trapped in a sheet of paper? Will she whisper joys with written words? Can she scream in ecstacy without her voice? I read every line, and feel nothing. Can you consummate the making of love, with the makings of a prose?
I read every line with excitement, of the possibility of this adventure, that i'd get more out of it than just reading pleasure. the possibility of feeling, that's it's gonna be more than just mental calisthenics. Line after line, I try hard to digest, to find the eroticy in all of it. I try hard to levitate my thoughts, my conciousness to a sensual high. But there is nothing, I cannot taste the bodily fluids that you wrote to be as sweet as nature's juces and a flower's nectar. I cannot catch the scent of sweat that you wrote to have embraced your body like some scented holy oil. I cannot hear the shrieks of pain and pleasure that you wrote to have been strong enough to dig deep and cut into your flesh. I cannot imagine the image of a yearning body, whose thirst is finally being quenched… The ecstasy too intense that it wounds you…Where are such wounds? I cannot see them with my eyes? I cannot feel the scars with my hands.
In vain, I clamped my hands together, rested my back on my swivel chair, looked up, and closed my eyes. Then it happened.
Images so alive surged through my head and my body responded
So real you sweat...cold
I could see you swimming in my head. In all your glorious nakedness.So beautiful, So warm. So real. I could feel you. The touch of your skin next to mine, Your taunting lips begging for my own. Your hands search for mine, and once it found it, it never let go. Your hands, took my hands to places, every other man wanted to go to.You guide me through the dangerous curves of your body. I never want to take my hands off you, and slowly those light runs of my fingers over your thighs, your waist, your breasts, become firm grips that lock on to pleasures beyond. Grips so strong it squeezes soft moans out of you. Grips so firm that it demands you feel my presence. I cannot let go anymore. I will not let go. Not now. Not ever. And as I finally move my lips closer to yours, I pause for a while, thinking of what I am doing and what I am about to do more. But that moment of rationality quickly leaves me, the moment I stare at your half-open eyes, and half-open lips. I plunge to uncertainty As I kiss you hard as I can, wildly, and passionately. At first I was kissing like there was no tomorrow, like an animal so greedy for those lips, then slower, then more tender, more loving, more attentive, more romantic... then the fleeting moment quickly paces things faster and faster. I feel your tongue exploring, not aware of how much it reveals the truth of how excited you really are. Your sweating and quivering body doesnt help hide that fact. Your movements are becoming frantic, almost instinctive, unrestrained. I want to feel you now even more. My hands seem not enough to cup your breasts or hold those curves, and so my kisses started to travel. My lips enjoyed its long way down, and took its time with regular pit stops. When I was finally on top of your breasts, I finally tasted what you wrote before; you can sometimes definitely be as sweet as a fruit. I try to be as gentle as I can, but the way you grabbed my hair, you didn't want me to be gentle. this was no time for being gentle. And the harder I worked on your breasts and the rest of your aching-for-more body, the louder and faster you moans get, as if to show approval. My hands continue to caress you legs and thighs, when one of them became too eager, and reached in between those legs. I became even more focused on giving your the greatest joys when my hands felt you. You were wet.

And as I slowly caress you with my fingers, and my mouth continue to lavishly explore your body, Your movements pressing forward and faster. You grab me by the hair again and pull me up. You wrap your arms around me, your teeth clenched in ecstacy. You whisper to my ear the culmination of all the hardwork. Two words, that tell me how badly you wanted it. I move in closer, inching myself into you. Your hands begin to scratch my back. Ahh, the wounds of pleasure that you wrote about, now you begin to write on my back with your nails...it was real. So was everything else. And with one final push, I suddenly heard something get torn apart...

I opened my eyes. I saw my dog ripping to pieces my favorite pair of boxers. I toweled off my sweaty self. I couldnt believe it. I was almost certain. I felt it. Damn. It was so real.

" It's your turn to take a shower, honey."
My god...

That was your voice...it was coming out from my shower.

could it be?

SEA WATER

2005-04-08T18:55:00.000+08:00

Cry

I feel. I am pained
Hurt
But as always....
No one sees.
I smile it away
No tears will race down my cheeks.
See me with my beaming smile
Hear my sell-out jokes
Who will think
That a clown in his tears will sink.

Life is good.
If not for me, then for you
No?
Then do not worry
I will make your day.
Who would have thought,
That heroes weep like rains in May.

Grab my hand
Feel its warmth?
The care? The love?
Flowing in my veins?
All for you
The cold
The salty water
The frowns
I reserve it for myself
Could you have guessed?
That a friend to the end,
Weeps like a kid of ten?

I cry
I cry
I cry
You didn't know?
Course not
I am all smiles to you
And the rest of the world

You will not see one tear from me.
But make no mistake

I Cry.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages.... presenting.... me.

2005-04-04T20:34:00.000+08:00

That's A Wrap!

I feel that I am near the end of my show....

But I feel truly blessed...

to have written...

to have directed...

to have starred...

in my own show.

And though it may seem like a big joke at times

or a wacky sitcom full of adlibs and mis-Q's,

It is still my show.

and there was a story there....somewhere...

there were lessons... somehow.

and to the few who watched,

to those who witnessed...

the small audience to whom I owe my modest TV ratings,

thank you.

and oh, lemme know....

what you think of the show.....

the show, "MY LIFE", signing off...

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

silent prayer

2005-04-03T11:06:00.000+08:00

GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Make him Weep

2005-03-04T14:17:00.001+08:00

WHIMPERS

We have a choice. We always have a choice.

Know what? We can be good. We can be better. We can be our best.

If we choose to.

We can be happy. Better yet, we can make others happy too.

Nothing is impossible.

If we believe it.

The common man, before, asked a certain Mr. Barrie, “What it’s like? y’know, Neverland?”

Mr. Barry said….

“Someday I will take you there.”

If the time comes,

Will you follow? Will you believe?

Will you come with Mr. Barrie to Neverland?

Everyday there is a Mr. Barrie, inviting you to Neverland.

LET US REMEMBER.

We are good. We are the best.

And if we choose to live as just that,

If we live righteously

EVEN the Devil may cry.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Midnight Mornings

2005-02-21T23:55:00.000+08:00

Eros, kung Gabi sa Daigdig Ko

sa muling pagpikit ng sanlibutan sa pagsalubong sa gabi
nananatiling dilat ang aking isip, walang kurap ang aking ulirat
naisin ko mang sumabay sa aandap-andap nang kamalayan ng sangkatauhan
dama ko pa ring gising ang bawat himaymay ng aking pagkatao
dama ko ang punong-salop na aking tiyan, sa gatas na kaiinom pa lamang
dama ko ang balahibo kong nananayo sa malabis na ginaw
ang aking dibdib, mainit at maalab... sa lamig ng aking pag-iisa
at ang aking isipan, mahihiya ang bahaghari at mistulang matabang pa ang halo-halo
daig pa ang sinangkutsa sa malubhang kaguluhang nakalagak sa aking utak
at sa aking pagkakailalim sa sumpa ng kagisnan
marami akong nasaksihan, nalaman, subalit di lubusang naunawaan
ako ay naging manonood sa pag-aasawahan ng dalawang aso mula sa aking bukas na bintana
namasdan ko din ang paglamon ng ulap sa namimilog na buwan, at ang pagluwal niya muli rito
at mula sa aklat, aking nabasa, na ang katotohanan ay kathang-isip lamang
maniwala man ako o hindi, ay walang halaga na kahit ano pa
di ko kasi masabi kung ano ang totoo, lalo na't nakasalalay sa iguguhit ng isip ko
naulinigan ko ang ugong ng isang sasakyan, na bumasag sa payapang katahimikan
binabagtas ang abandonadong daan patungo sa kung saan
noon ko rin nabatid na ang aking kumot ay sadyang bitin na
pagkat sinuyod ng hangin ang aking katawan, nakikipaglaro ng pakiramdaman
ako ay naluha... dulot ng lungkot, at dulot ng ligaya
sapagkat ako ay gising sa gitna ng paghihilik ng mundo
at aking nalaman, buhay ang dilim... buhay ang gabi
buhay ito at mananatiling buhay pa sa may katagalang panahon
pagkat tila yata kay layo pa ng misteryo ng liwanag at pagsikat ng umaga
...at sa huli ako ri'y nangiti na may luha sa mata
namulatan ng aking isipan, napagtanto ko ngayong gabi
...ang pag-ibig pala ay kasalang tikbalang

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Hulog

2005-02-21T23:51:00.000+08:00

The pit

Take me away
Take me with you
Fly me to the night sky
Bring me to the stars
Sit me by the moon
Let me ride your smile
Drown me in your tears
Never leave me
Take me away
Take me by the hand
You hold my heart
You are my love
Let me share your life
If I be driver of destiny
‘always keep you close
never be distant

why did you let go?
I have no wings to fly
You let me down and now I fall

Helplessly falling for you.

Pebrero disi-siete thoo tawsand payb

2005-02-17T10:13:00.000+08:00

Gusto ko sana magsulat, bigyan kayong mga magbabasa ng maganda-gandang likha...
kaso wala akong maisip. Sa totoo lang, marami akong iniisip, pero di ko alam kung papaano kong isasatitik...

Andami kong balak, plano, na dapat siguro, di manatiling ganoon lang, kailangan yata, isa-gawa na ng magkaroong kabuluhan naman. parang ngayon, kanina sabi ko, gusto ko lang magsulat. Ngayon nagsusulat na ako. Galing no?

Marami akong pangarap, na dapat siguro di ko tingalaing parang bituin, di maabot, kundi ituring mga prutas sa punong kayang akyatin, kayang pitasin. Diba mas ok?

Minsan dapat siguro magsa-kabayo tayo...yung may tapahoho, para di tayo naiilang, nalilito, o nalilinlang.. naisip ko pa yun?

Marami pa akong gustong sabihin, isulat, pero sigurado ako, by now(ingles yan!), pati kayo marami na ring naiisip, marami na ring ideya, marami na ring kayong gustong gawin, sabihin, isipin, pangarapin, at tuparin.

Kaya sige, kayo naman, tapos, isulat nyo din sa akin, ang inyong mga napag-isipan.

Ingat kaibigan... Maligayang pakikipagpalaisipan!!!

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Huli man daw at korni, puwede na din (elementary days)

2005-02-17T10:04:00.000+08:00

Pana-panahon lang yan

Kabataan panahon mo na nga ba?
Saan ka tutungo, at saan ang daan?
Iyo ang bukas! Ang ngayon at sa dako pa!
Huwag pa-ampon sa iyong nakaraan,
Huwag kang palilimot bagama’t lilipas ka.

Di sapat ang pawis, di sapat and dugo,
Isip pairalin sa panahong mapanlinlang,
Bata, talino mo’y ibugso!
Sa katotohonan isp mo’y ipadarang,
Padaig ka’y huwag, ang laban ay iyo!

Kabataan, sa Diyos ika’y tumawag,
Siyang naglalang sa iyo’t s lahat….
Balik tanawa’t Siya ri’y iyong kalasag,
Sa kanya’t sa kanya lamang ika’y sasapat.
Iwanan Siya’t tuyo’t kangf lalatag….

Tumayo ka sa iyong mga paa!
Bungkalin ang lupa ng iyong mga kamay!
Isalang ang diwa at ika’y magbata!
Kasaysayan sa iyo na’y lumatay,
Iba na ngayon, panahon mo na.!

Kabataan, tinatawag ka na,
Buhay mo ngayon iyo ng hawakan.
Alipin mo ngayon ang iyong tadhana,
Isinisigaw ng oras ang iyong ngalan….
Tinitimbang ka na!

Kabataan panahon mo na nga!
Isinilang ka na’t isisilang pang muli,
Sa iyo ang mundo, at ikaw ay kanya!
Panahon mo na nga, di ka nauna, di ka nahuli!

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Futile attempt at being Cute 2003

2005-02-16T00:46:00.000+08:00

Para sa mga Bigo...

pano na ngayon?
iinom ng baygon?
tatalon sa mayon?

sobrang wasted
buhay ngayong basted
from her heart ousted

ngayon i will pray
to Jesus i will say
"another chance, if u may?"

nasan na kayo mga friends?
iinom tayo to the end
para problems ay nonsense!

pa abot na the knife
i'll end na my life
its okey, its olraiyt!

pero but wait!
is it really too late?
am i enemy of your state?

abot na the lason...
o kaya the baygon...
o jump na lang ako mayon...

kasi naman so sad
ma-in love ng so mad
sa fast na parang Fad

so fast the feeling
ang hirap bigyang meaning
parang art na parang sining

tula ko ay end na
pero hope ko hindi pa
baka sakali, sana...

kasi pag gone ka na
pati poems ko wala na
muse kasi kita di ba?

sige my special friend
i'll be here, a friend to the end
and even to forever's end...

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Another one from memory lane 2003

2005-02-16T00:41:00.000+08:00

Of Echoes and Walls

no words can fit the hurt of losing something very special that you own...

there should be no reason to be hurt,

if you're losing something that was never yours...

but what hurts is that fear overtook you...

and everything conspired against you

because of that fear.

and it hurts even more...

knowing you were never givena chance...

but its because you never deserved one...

not given...coz you never really had any chance in the first place..

acceptance helps...

but knowing that the person you care for is ok, and happy, and well-loved,
helps even more...

coz that's all you ever really want when you're in love...

you just hide the thought behind you....

"i just wish she found it in me"

but still you're happy.

coz you know she is.....

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Luma na, puwede pa...2003

2005-02-16T00:37:00.001+08:00

INTERNAL AFFAIRS

there are nights when i cant sleep...
when it seems so noisy, yet the world is fast asleep and silent...
nights when i shut my eyes, yet my mind and heart remains open.
i cannot rest my soul.. aching and battered by the day that had just past.
still i cannot sleep...
it still seems so noisy. everything is so loud... yet no one speaks.

ah yes... i hear it now...

it's my heart again....

hopelessly, endlessly, shouting out your name...
i told him already....
no matter how loud and how strong...

you can’t hear him...

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Heart Failure 2003

2005-02-16T00:30:00.000+08:00

Kardyak Ares

nakaupo sa tronong
pang-maliit na taong
tulad ko
haring maliit lamang
lalo na't wala lang
ang nasasakupan

namasdan
naulinigan
ang paisa-isang plok-plok
patak ng tubig
unti- unti
pinupuno ang baldeng nakasalok
parang pag-ibig
di namamalayan pinupuno
ang iyong dibdib
hanggang puso'y tigib

magigitla isang araw
umaapaw
sapagkat walang
ibang nilalang
ang iyong mapagsalinan makahatian
sa pagmamahalan

hanggang sa malabis na kapunuan
dibdib mo'y magsisikip
sakit ay didilat-iidlip
at kasabay ng pangangatog
ng nangangatal na katawan
at mga ugat na nangangalit
namumutok
kikiwal din ito palabas
magpipilit umalpas
at sa isang huling impit
na hininga
ito'y kakawala

kasama ang buhay mo...

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

I am a SONGER! :)

2005-02-02T19:11:00.000+08:00

MINSAN LANG

I

Naglalakad sa mall
Isip nagmamaktol
Dahil naaalala
Kung sa’n nagkakilala
Diba rito
Heto mismo

Dito kumain
Doon nagshoppin’
Tapos ice-skating
Tapos loving-lovin’

Chorus

Minsan lang sa buhay ko
Hindi na mawalay sa isip ko
Minsan lang sa buhay ko
Minsan ba’y mauulit pa

Bridge

Nais madamping muli
Mahaplos iyong pisngi
Nais mahagkan pati
Matamis mong labi
Dahil ang minsang pagkikita
Ang isang hapong pagsasama
Ay di na naulit pa.
At di na yata mauulit pa
Ang minsan pa’y
Minsanan lang talaga.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

ABwierdAL

2005-02-02T18:43:00.000+08:00

I would like to share with you a reply to another blog that I made for a friend of mine who wanted to reply her friend's blog...She gave me a copy of her friend's blog. The guy who wrote the other blog, was sort of, well, disillusioned. He thinks love is nothing but mere chemicals. And that people love others for gain and purpose, and not for just love itself. He wrote a lot of things, but it would be impossible for me to remember them all. And oh, one thing and one great irony, He's a superman fan...So I made reply, like I was the friend who was replying...

I hope my reply gives you a bit of an idea of what he felt at that time. This was like almost a year ago. I just managed to find it in one of my folders.

Hope it helps. Or, well, I just hope someone reads it. :-)

It pains me to know how much existential angst dwells in you. And I find it even weirder how you seem to cultivate it, though it may be unconscious.

I am writing now in response, though I don’t really know what to write about. I don’t even know where to begin and what to say. All I know is that I have to respond. I have to write. Where I go from there, I don’t know but I just hope it will do you more good than harm.

Man, I think, you are infected with the same sickness that most other people in this world are infected with. It is called.... BEING DISILLUSIONED. Have you lost your idealism because of the pains and sufferings you feel? Do you really think that goodness and love equates to property and status? Do people love really just because of what they want you to be rather than what we really are? Do you really believe all these crap that you are writing about? Don’t make me believe that. You are far better than this.

The world is not that all good. I know that. But that’s no excuse to hate it. Nor is it an excuse to generalize that everything is bad. Even love. C’mon. Even you can’t possibly totally believe that. Love? How can that be bad? Coz you get hurt? Coz you are rarely or never is loved back? Or maybe you fail to see and feel love because you are too busy complaining about your life, and love, and the way things are on this damn planet. You have something good, but you don’t wanna see it as that. Instead you try to strip it off, because you think that’s it’s just a disguise. That it ain't good. That it’s nothing but a cover. Sometimes, “more than meets the eye” is not always applicable. When you see something... someone like me... or something like love, take it for what it is. Take me for what I am. Don’t you try breaking it down just to prove yourself correct. Just to prove that love is just fantasy. That this world is just too cruel for something as wonderful as the idea of love. No my friend. See the good. A friend once told me... not everyone may be good, but everyone definitely has goodness in them.

Even you yourself admitted. You still hope. You still believe in a way. That the idea of love may indeed be true. And that in time it may become a reality for you. Do not let go of that. That’s a start.

Superman. Are you really? You’re not even Clark Kent... You are a square peg in a round hole like superman is. You are also trying to fit in and find your place in this world and you haven’t, like Clark. Like superman. But he didn’t hate the world for it. He loved being superman. The helping and the sacrifice and all. Sure, at times he is down and rethinks what and why he is doing what he is doing. Especially for a world that at times, has not really been all good to him. But he never gave in. he loved being Superman. And it was a way of life, rather than just another day’s work. Can I say the same for you? You are beating yourself up over everything. You make decisions. Regret them. Then do nothing about them. And it doesn’t end there, does it? As if that wasn’t enough, you whine about it. Then blame the whole world for it. How could you? Taking you’re frustration over a helpless pen and paper (or possibly your PC’s MS word).... Prove me wrong. Show me that you are Superman. I think you know what you have to do. You wrote it yourself. “Knowing the path is different from walking it” You know the path. You know the mistake you’ve done. You know the things you regret. It is for you now to decide to walk through it or not.

I have said enough. If you try to reflect on the things you believe in and write about, you will even find the very answers to your very troubles.

There is such a thing as genuine, true love. People don’t always just love for what they want others to be. Sometimes it is just because... because... well... simply because love. I know you know that. You said you were successful in loving, although failed (or as you claim you are) in being loved back, thing is, can you accept that your love, the one you gave, the one you feel, are you ready to accept it as what you think love is? That it ain’t any good. Read how you define love... are you ready to accept that that is how you love?

There is love. Just as there is air. You are just too blind. You feel it. But you fail to realize it for what it really is.

Again...see love for what it is.

See me for what I am.

See the world in all its wonderful colors.

Like neo and the oracle...

It is always up to you

YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.

You can still fly...

Just remember what Peter Pan said....

Think happy thoughts.

...So fly.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

2005-01-31T20:07:00.000+08:00

All I want is to touch people's lives.
I don't have big dreams. Or maybe yet I do.
If I share with you my dream,
Will you share in it with me?

I dream of Chivalry.
That when I am 60 years of age (if I last that long)
And will be on a train, on MRT,
A kid taught the value of of humanity,
Will stand up and give his seat to me
That is not often seen anymore.

I dream of seeing innocent smiles,
I prefer those than greedy grins.
I dream of hearing a hearty laugh
I prefer that than boisterous malices

I dream...Know what?
I dont want to continue writing this.
I don't want to give it an ending.

How about you?
Dare to dream?

and better yet...
dare to live it?...

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

BAHAY KUBO

2005-01-31T19:50:00.000+08:00

Homeward Bound

Devils all in hiding
Like angels to behold
They walk with the living
But death they’ve bought and sold

A paradise of flames
The stench of rotten souls
The screech of dirtied names
Unsaid lines and undone roles

I seek ye light!
But you give me darkness
Night is day and day is night
Good is bad and worst is best

Home sweet home, I say
Bitter faces all around
Home sweet home, don’t make me stay
With closed eyes….

I turn around.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

ANd I call it Joy

2005-01-26T01:53:00.000+08:00

Ngiti. Tawa
Saya. Ligaya.

Andaming bagay ang dapat ikasiya. Ang maaring makapagguhit ng ngiti sa iyong labi.
MAy Diyos na nagbigay at nag-ukol ng panahon para buhayin ka....ay bigyan ka ng matinong
hitsura at pigura(ganda mo diba?). Pumasa ka sa test. Sumikat ang araw. Yung pamangkin mo
cute. Andami diba?

When you feel down, weary, lost. or scared, unloved, or unhappy....
List up the things that can make you happy....And you'd be surprised,
That more than half of it, was around you the whole time.
Laugh at yourself for chrissake...

Look at me. I don't even know what I am writing. But I certainly know what I want it to mean.

Don't worry. Be happy. :-)

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Hilahod

2005-01-24T18:08:00.000+08:00

Hinihila ko ang bawat araw.
Palapit na kasi
ang araw ng hukom.

Sentensya.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Blast from the past

2005-01-24T18:04:00.000+08:00

DOCTOR
once i came upon
this all too familiar guy.
he was in
the pink of healh.
and he said to me,
this all too familiar guy,
that he plans to stay this way
to good old years of eight
or maybe two more years to count
and when i tried to think his thoughts
on why he plans to be fit
for good old years of eight,
or probably two more to count.
it came to me, his idea,
(for he is an all too familiar guy you see)
he plans to stay,
fit for years of eight (or two more)
just to get sick after...
why? quite simple..
he is an all too familiar guy anyway.
he wants to get sick, and be weak,
after such years of health...
to experience your caring...
to be nursed back to health
by someone as special to him as you...

we think alike...
he is an all too familiar guy, so no surprise...

two years almost done, just
six more.. or add two more
to count.

Augustus Dalawang libo

2005-01-24T18:02:00.000+08:00

08-00

Scribe

I write to celebrate life
To celebrate humanity
(or the lack of it)
to proclaim the call of faith
to turn thoughts into words
I write to my own delight
I take pleasure with my pen and paper
To scribble what I think and feel
Thoughts storm my head
Run down my spine
Finds way to my hand
Burst out thru my
Pen and paper
I write what I believe and
I write what I oppose
I write out of guilt, out of
Sadness and despair
I write of joy, of triumph
And of freedom, of
Bondage and of poverty
Of wealth and of slavery
I write what I want, I write what is
Needed, wanted, or what
Is not instead
I write what you read, what you want
What you need, what you are
What you’re not
I write what is what
I write to my heart’s content
Yet I do not hunger satisfaction
If I die, to my grave I rest
My pen shall be my monument….
My words shall be my legacy….
My works shall make my history….

I wrote.

Dotting the dot (contemplations)

2005-01-24T17:57:00.000+08:00

I have made a lot mistakes in my life. I have sacrificed a lot, thinking always of what is right, of what should be. I have always regarded what others would feel, their hurt and their happiness. I do not want to be remembered as a bad person or someone they hated. I don’t know if I was doing things for the right reasons, or I simply can’t get over the fact that I am trapped and that I can never be happy. I am happy actually. But you know what I really mean.

I have nothing much to offer, a world full of lies, and deception, where sometimes the only honest and true thing one can have are feelings, love. A place of hurt and pain, where the only happiness one can have is the refuge and relief of each other’s arms. I have lost a lot. I have lost so much. I have given so much. I have done so much. Yet in reality they are but few.

It is time for me to contemplate my life. To figure out things. What things? I don’t even know yet. I just know something’s wrong. So here I am contemplating about my life, how I am, how I lived my life.

I feel that, though I may never present any real achievement, no awards, no certificates, that will prove that I lived a life that was full and had meaning, I truly believe that my success goes beyond those awards and recognition. I have found friends that truly care, that really loves. I have found true love also. I have found family. I found out the secret languages of people’s hearts. I would also like to believe that I have touched a few souls here and there, that I actually mean something to a few people. I did what I could, gave what I could. And I was happy doing it.

You know, the hurt is worth it. The pain is worth it. The sacrifices are all worth it. The tears are all worth it. To see a person smile, Another one laugh, hear someone thanking you for a word of advice, hear the success story of a certain somebody who’s life changed for the better because of you.

People may say I’m dumb. I’m stupid. And I respect that. To a point, yah, well I maybe.

Know what? I really don’t know where this paper’s going. What I’ll end up writing about. Maybe I just want to let you know, and let God know, that hey, I am ready, take me.

Know what? I stuck it out with people, despite the hurt, coz I believed in it. I was even gonna give my life and get killed to save a total stranger…of course I’d do much more for a friend, family, or a loved one. Coz a person who loves truly, someone told me this, will understand. And I did I understood, so I stayed. I stuck it out for the people I love and care for, no matter what, and despite the pain and hurt.

That was then that I found out that not many understands me. Maybe not many really loves me.
No one really stayed. No one stuck it out with or for me….

So, I guess now, It’s time. I say my farewell’s and goodbye’s. No one is gonna be here for me, I know that. I knew it long ago. Felt it long ago.

So guys, love and understand, care and get hurt. Life’s meaning and secret lesson is hidden there somewhere. It is.

Goodbye.
I would have loved to stay.
But you waved goodbye even before I said my farewells.

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Naaalala kita. I remember you.

2005-01-02T20:42:00.001+08:00

taon dalawang libo-lima...
year 2005

isang bagong taon na naman...puno ng pagsubok. puno ng hamon. puno ng lungkot.
anothger new year...filled with tests. filled with challenges. filld with sorrow.

pero sa lahat ng ito. sa halu-halong emosyon at mga bagay...
but in all these. in the mix of all emotions and all things...

may saya. totoo. bihira ang nakakaalam sa sasabihin ko. makinig kayo.
there is happiness. true. a few know what i am to tell you. listen well

may ligaya sa lungkot.
there is happiness in sorrow

my ligaya sa dalamhati.
there is happiness in despair

my ligaya sa sakit.
there is happiness in hurt

my ligaya sa lahat ng bagay.
there is happiness in all things

sa katotohanan, ang lahat ng bagay ay kaligayahan
in truth, all things are happiness

bihira lamang ang tanggap ang katotohanang ito.
only a few accepts this truth

pero totoo. may ligaya sa ano man at lahat man.
but it's true. there is happiness in anything and everything

dahil dadating ang panahon... aabutan ka din. matataya ka sa pakikipaghabulan mo.
because time will come. it'll catch up to you. you'll be tagged "it" in your game of run-arounds

kapayapaan
peace

kaligayahan
happiness

lipad
fly

buksan ang isip. imulat ang mata. yakapin mo at wag itanggi.
open your mind. open your eyes. embrace and do not shun away

Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

4:10 am

2004-10-29T04:18:00.000+08:00

4:00 na... Have to drink Tempra. Tsaka Vicks Formula 44... Ayoko na maysakit. Hirap. Pushin yourself sometimes can take its toll on you. Pero ayos lang yun. It's a small price to pay.

What I am really worried about is when the time comes that I have to push on further. I'm not afraid of the pain or the hurdles I have to go through. It's just that the time will come that I will have to face my greatest demons. I mean I've faced lots of 'em, but I know the greatest of 'em all are yet to come.

Will I be ready for them? Kaya ba?

Ewan. Basta alam ko, di ako matatapos ng wala lang. Kaya to.

May mararating din ako.

Even heroes falter....but they rise like a phoenix from the ashes.....

declaring LEGACY.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Cephas ("kai- fauh")

2004-10-25T10:24:00.000+08:00

Strange how sometimes life can be so tiring, and so full of hurdles that you have to continuously jump over on. Funny how you have to continue to run all the time, not away from something, but hopefully towards something....

Lately I have been feeling the bite of life digging deeper into me... wounding me. hurting me... Lately, i feel like Life and Fate are exerting extra effort on me... coz lately I feel bombarded with obstacles. Some even moves me to the point of tears and sobbing. But that's ok. That doesn't make me less a man. I think it even makes me morea man to cry.

Lately, i have been losing the struggle. Sometimes I feel ready to accept defeat.

Yesreday, I had a chance to win....or at least feel victory, even for a short time....just for a little while. There was a basketball game. A game that would last for roughly around two hours. For me, that meant two hours of freedom... And a chance to win.

Then, we lost.

I went home tired and beaten. Not to mention, a busted mouth.

At home, my housemates were havinga little get-together. My friend is celebrating his birthday.

After a couple of beers, which I had trouble drinking because of my busted lip, I realized something.

I didn't need to win.

I got a chance at it...

That freedom was enough.

"Things will not always pan out the way you want it to, but its sure to be an experience...

now that has to count for something.."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AMOR INVICTUS

2004-10-20T09:30:00.000+08:00

It’s been a while since I last tried to write. I seemed to have lost my penchant for it…. That and a lot of other things. Especially one so important to me.

As I stare at the screen of my pc, and see the still almost blank page I am trying to write on, I can’t help but be envious. Why can’t life and love be just like a blank page…. A Tabula Rasa. Simple. No complications. Nothing too confusing. Why can’t I just love and be loved. Why can’t I just live my life with you? Why do I have to lose you, just because things are not perfect, when in fact nothing is? Why don’t I have a say in all these. Why can’t I do anything about it? Why am I not given any chance in life and love? Why, when I finally find the one, why does she turn away….?

Why can’t I keep you?

Questions orbit my head. Right before I sleep, I feel empty and alone, yet I try to comfort (or fool) myself by being hopeful. Then while in a deep slumber, same thoughts haunt me in my dreams.

I have indeed lost my penchant for writing. I have run out of words. And I cannot explain any further.

All words, except for three: I love you.

And that’s not gonna change come what may. The exchange of words and promises, the sweet kisses, the warm embrace and the long caresses, they can’t all be wrong. They can’t be all a lie. There has to be some truth in it. And I’m hanging on to it, though you may let go. I do not want to lose this feeling. And I do not want to lose you.

Things may not be bright and sunny, and we may not be all that happy, and factors may not always be for us, but that’s how life is. We can never find the right time and the perfect situation. No such thing. It’s us who make ‘em.

There are always two sides to a story….probably even three. Whatever you want, whatever you’re longing for, and whatever you’re facing, or searching, look at ‘em at all sides…. There has to be a way there that could make this work. There has to be a version there that is for us.

Don’t quit on me please. Don’t let go. Don’t leave.
I have never loved anyone like you and I want to continue loving you.
Like I said before, something so beautiful, something this good can’t be all wrong.
If God would grant me one wish… it’s to become your happiness
..So that you’ll never leave me.

Hopes and chances.

YOU COMPLETE ME.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Lumingon Ka Lang (just look around)

2004-10-15T08:14:00.000+08:00

Most of the times I walk myself to school or to work.. Kadalasan inilalakad ko ang sarili ko papasok ng paaralan, o kaya sa trabaho. During these moments, I contemplate ,why life, and how it's been for the past years, and where i think its leading to. Sa mga pagkakataong ito, pinagmumunihan ko ang buhay ko, kung ano ba sya mula pa samga nagdaang taon, at kung ano kahahantungan nito. I have had so many mistakes. Kayrami kong pagkakamali. I fear for the worst. Nangangamba ako sa pinakmalalang maaring mangyari.
Damn...Anakanang...

I dunno...Ewan ko ba.
In the end i'll just ask myself if there is a reason why I am here. WHy I am alive. MAtatapos ang lahat sa pagtatanong ko kung may dahilan ba kung bakit ako narito, at kung bakit ako nabubuhay....

Then a my phone will ring... a friend of mine playing a prank on me, calling me when he's only behind me. Tapos magriring ang telepono ko, giagago ko ng kaibigan ko. tinatawagan ako eh nasa likod ko lang. I'd look around to see him. Lilingunin ko syempre ang walanghiya. Then he'll tell me that he needs a favor... Tapos may kailangan pala ang tukmol...

I smile. Ngiti na lang. God always reminds me what the reason is. Pinatatamaan ako lagi ng Diyos.

Lumingon ka lang. Just look around.

Ayan ang dahilan. There's your reason.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ang EDSA puno na naman.. daming nagdadaan....
buti pa EDSA, trapik, dami kasing nagsisiksikan...eh ang puso ko... ke-luwang-luwang... wala man lang nagsusumiksik na kahit isang nilalang.. ang mapadaan... dito naman, dito and daan...
-EDSA by S.D.

Genesis; first prints

2004-10-13T05:54:00.000+08:00

FAREWELL

So the news has reached my ear. You are leaving. Departure comes not easy for someone I have learned to love, for someone that has grown to be part of what I am. But it was always inevitable. Like Jesus, or the great Vincent, You were never meant to stay. Not here. Not just with me. I have always known that you are meant for bigger things. And I have always known, one day the inner thirst to spread your wings and fly will grow unbearably strong to resist. You will want to go. You will need to go.

And so, the day has come. The day is now.

I love you like a son, but I cannot keep you as mine. You belong to the world. And though my heart beats like jungle drums, though I am much tempted to block your path and make you stay, a verse of wisdom you once told me flashes in my head….

“Love can be a lot of things in a lot of times, to a lot of people”

Many will say I am foolish to let you go. They will say it is madness. But I know. “Amor no es locura, no es amor” it is not my fault that my love is true.

I have always believed that love is holding on. But today, it means letting go. I do not clutch thee in the palm of my hands, nor do you clutch me in yours. We hold each other by heart, and by heart we will never be truly distant

I have memories to look back to. So do you. I am old, and I have the freedom of death to look forward to, whilst you have your whole life ahead just about to unfold. You will be known. You will be great. Remember still, that I was once part of who you are. You used to carry my name. I used to be a father to thee. Remember. For I will wither away, remembering thee.

So leave. And smile as you go, so that I may think you are off to somewhere beautiful. Do not mind the tears. Do not let a few drops of salty water hinder you from realizing your destiny. Go.

I have a part of you, as you will always have a part of me wherever you will go. If you long for your father’s hand, do not forget, that the same wind that will touch your face, has touched me beforehand.

I am always with you.

--Jonathan Kent's last words to son Clark before Clark had to leave to fulfill his destiny.....